No Sleep

I'm still awake.

Even with Lyndsay in the room I'm afraid to go to sleep.

I don't know where these blog posts are coming from.  I've had a nightmare since the break-in.  Just one, but...it was worse.

I still haven't talked about what happens when my skin comes off, and I'm bleeding.  I don't want to. But I might have to.  Just to get it out there.  Maybe feel a bit more sane.

My skin comes off and I'm a wolf.  A big, black wolf and I eat my brother and I kill everyone at the hospital...which includes Lyndsay and Justin and sometimes even my exes and sometimes even Koji.

And then the fur starts falling out and my skin starts to fall away and I don't want to tell the rest because it's even worse.  It's even worse and it just keeps going.

So yeah.  Not a whole lot of sleep.

I wish I knew what was happening.  I wish I knew why it was happening.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB LITTLE LAMB LITTLE LAMB
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB WHOS FUR WAS BLACK AS NIGHT

Still No Leads

The police found nothing.  No fingerprints.  No dog hairs.  No chewed furniture.  No scuffed paint where a ladder might've gone.  Absolutely nothing.

I think they think I made it up as an April Fool's joke.  Honestly, I think the only reason they don't press charges or yell at me is how terrified I am.

I don't understand.  Why would someone do this?  What point is there?  If it's a prank, then shouldn't someone be laughing at me?  If it was one of my friends, wouldn't they admit it?

How did I sleep through that?

I don't understand.

The Worst Day To Post This

Someone broke into my room last night.  While I was asleep in it.

My window was shattered, and there was mud all over my floor.  Muddy dog prints, but there wasn't any other sign of a dog.  I'm on the second story, and there's no sign anyone came in anywhere else.

This is not an April Fool's Joke.

I've had a really hard time convincing the police of this, though.

I don't even know why.  Nothing was taken.  Nothing is gone.  Maybe someone played a prank?  I don't know anyone who would do that, though.  Not like this.

And I don't know what's up with that post.  I don't know what's going on.

I'm going to be staying with Lyndsay in her room until my window gets fixed.  It doesn't feel safe to sleep in here right now.

I don't understand.

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Still Not Much

Spring break came and went.  Still here, still in the same house, with the same roommate.

I thought I had the flu over break, but I was talked down into admitting it was just an allergy.  I'm in a bit of a better frame of mind, I think.

Gatsby called me today.  He didn't talk long.  It's the first time he's really talked to me on his own in years.  He didn't say much, just kept talking, asking me how I've been.  More than once.  Kept asking how I've been sleeping.

He also said things I won't repeat.  Personal things that I never want to talk about and he always wants to talk about.

Just before he hung up, though, he asked me about the thing he said to me right before I left.  I acted like I didn't know what he was talking about and he told me that that was good.  That was the way it should be.

I hope he's doing alright.  He sounds even more paranoid than normal.  Hope his new meds aren't causing side effects.

Nothing Much To Say

Except that I apparently posted in my sleep again.

No nightmares.  No phantom scratching.  Classes have been going a whole lot better.  I've even talked to Koji a few times!  Still don't know if he was actually interested or anything, but it's progress, right?

I've even been hanging out with the others more.  Justin's friend Stephanie, him, Lyndsay, and I all played some Rock Band the other night, and then Smash Brothers until we passed out.  It feels good to have things sort of on track again, you know?

Well, for me, anyway.  Apparently Lyndsay's been having troubles with her internet boyfriend lately.  Been up a lot of nights talking to her about it.

Speaking of being up nights, probably should go to bed, while I have the luxury of going to bed early.