Thursday, March 15, 2012

...What I'm Not Talking About

...I guess it's pretty obvious by now that I'm specifically not talking about something.  Something in particular.

Yes, I'm still having nightmares from time to time.  Yes, I'm still hearing the scratching.

Yes, I think it's coming from my window.

No, I haven't seen anything at it.  Yes, my sleeping has gotten worse.  A lot worse.  Even when I take melatonin.  Especially then, I think, because I don't wake up.  I sleep through the night and the dream just goes on after.  I don't really want to talk about it.  Or think about it.   Last time I literally scrubbed a layer of skin off a patch of my arm.

There aren't any branches near my window.  The closest ones all fell off first.  It's happening more and more.  It's  happening now.  I'm a wreck.  I'm not going to classes as often.  I'm missing papers.  Had to get a letter from my therapist.  He thinks I should just retroactively cancel the semester and just take the rest of it off, but I don't know.  I'm so close to being done, I just want to finish it.

Maybe I should take a trip to visit Gatsby.  Maybe that would help things.  I miss him.

Well, my therapist did say it might help.  I just need to call the hospital before I go.  Might as well go this weekend.  Maybe Lyndsay or Justin'll give me a ride.

Going to try to sleep again.  Hope the scratching won't keep me up.

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